Double Feature: Cold Storage and The Bluff (2026) Reviews

What does Sam think of an infectious killer fungus movie, and girl boss Pirates of the Caribbean?

Sam Sewell-Peterson

Mar 09, 2026

Cold Storage (2026)

Director: Jonny Campbell

Screenwriter: David Koepp

Starring: Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, Lesley Manville, Vanessa Redgrave, Sosie Bacon

Killer fungus is really having a moment in horror. You can primarily blame The Last of Us, but now everyone who spends any time reading about weird stuff online knows how terrifying cordyceps, the real-world fungus that burrows into ants and forces them to climb and spread their spores can be.

In Cold Storage, two young security guards (Georgina Campbell and Joe Keery) at a storage facility find themselves fighting for their lives against an invasive fungal organism which has escaped the decommissioned military facility buried deep below them. Their only hope is a retired, heavily armed biological weapons expert (Liam Neeson) travelling across the country to address the situation with extreme prejudice.

Does David Koepp ever sleep? The Jurassic Park script writer penned the screenplays of three films released in 2025, two (that we know about) in 2026 and two novels over the last half decade including Cold Storage, which he self-adapts here.

This feels very Michael Crichton (complimentary) and there’s not an ounce of fat on it. We stick with a few likeable characters going through a really bad day at work, and get to know them as they become more open with each other, all the while steadily more extreme sci-fi horror imagery keeps you gasping and grimacing. Jonny Campbell has previously proven himself with some very good directing on TV (Doctor Who, In the Flesh) and judging by his work here he could be a very reliable genre filmmaker going forward.

Admittedly, Liam Neeson doesn’t exactly have to stretch himself to play another guy with a particular set of skills, though there is some refreshing acknowledgment of his advancing age here. Lesley Manville and Vanessa Redgrave playing supporting roles in a movie like this also takes some getting used to, but then another fungus-swarmed creature explodes in a shower of viscera and you stop worrying about anything.

Cold Storage may not shoot for the stars, but enjoyable performances, consistent tension and the right balance between humour and horror make this a great time at the movies.

Score: 7/10

The Bluff (2026)

Director: Frank E. Flowers

Screenwriters: Joe Ballarini, Frank E. Flowers

Starring: Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, Karl Urban, Temuera Morrison, Ismael Cruz Córdova, Safia Oakley-Green, Vedanten Naidoo

It’s not every day you see someone being violently dispatched with a conch. Sights such as this, and more await you in this straight-to-Prime Video Caribbean actioner.

If you were being overly reductive you might call The Bluff “girl boss Pirates of the Caribbean” but it’s more accurately like a Jason Statham action movie set in the 18th century. Former infamous pirate Ercell’s (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) island paradise life with her family is obliterated by the kidnap of her husband and the arrival of former shipmates under the command of the bloodthirsty Captain Connor (Karl Urban) in search of his treasure. Now the woman until recently known as “Bloody Mary” must take the fight to the invading buccaneers.

This isn’t really bad, but it’s not quite good either. For all the pleasing flourishes of ultraviolence, the plot feels second-hand and pretty much all the characters have been ported over wholesale from some much better movies.

You probably have to mention how monumentally stupid some stylistic decisions in this are. The bad guys basically being a SEAL sniper team running around 1700s Caribbean islands is only one step removed from the Taron Egerton Robin Hood opening with a Call of Duty cutscene but with bows and arrows.

The costumes and locations look good, and Chopra Jonas throws herself fully into the visceral fight scenes, but there’s an off-putting CG sheen to too much of this, and it’s at least 20 minutes too long for what should be a lean, mean modern take on a pirate B-movie.

Park your brain at the door and you might get a certain amount of enjoyment out of The Bluff on a base level, but it’s certainly not going to stay with you and probably isn’t the sign of another cycle of swashbuckling films on the horizon.

Second Cut

Discussion about this post

Ready for more?